Outgoing American President Donald Trump has ordered White House staff not to flush the toilets anymore after they’ve had a shite. Trump is said to be so full of bitterness after losing the election that he intends to make Joe Biden’s first days in the White House as unpleasant as possible.
“I myself left a hum dinger in the en-suite of the master bedroom. Wait til slow Joe gets a whiff of that! Unfortunately when I dropped it off I forgot I still had another couple of months sleeping there. But it’s going nowhere. That’s a special gift from me to Joe and I’m determined he gets it. It’s just a good job Melania stopped sharing a bedroom with me years ago.”
Mr. Trump also boasted that he’s leaving little surprises all over the White House for the Bidens, not just in the toilets.
“Oh I’m setting up little bobby traps everywhere. All the classics really. Loosening the top of the salt seller so it goes all over his dinner. Unscrewing chair legs so when they’re sat on they collapse. Replacing the fancy soap in the showers with blocks of cheese. I just wish I could be there to see it all going down. Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve only played golf twice this week and it’s already Tuesday.”