Ireland To Send Someone Belching Into A Microphone To Next Year’s Eurovision

Eurovision Ireland have announced that next year’s Irish entry for the song contest will consist of someone belching into a microphone. Once again this year Ireland didn’t even qualify for the final which was held in Rotterdam last night and won by Italy. John Devlin from Eurovision Ireland told us they’re just not going to bother trying anymore.

“We’re officially out of ideas. We’ve tried everything at this stage. Dance music, rock music, ballads, Irish music. We even sent Dustin the turkey one year. Our next entry will be a lad belching into a microphone. Remember, a woman making chicken noises won the Eurovision Song Contest for Israel in 2018 so why the hell not?”

The only real highlight of last night’s show for many Irish viewers was watching the UK come last again. Not only did they finish last, the song actually received zero points.

Many British Eurovision fans claimed the snub was because they left the EU, however there are many countries in the Eurovision Song Contest that are not in the EU such as Switzerland, Norway and Iceland so the zero points was probably more to do with the fact that their song was a pile of shite.

We asked John Devlin who Ireland will send next year to belch into the microphone.

“It doesn’t matter. Anyone. I’ll do it myself if I have to. Just someone who can do a big long, loud belch on command. And if that doesn’t work then the following year our act will consist of someone playing the bongos while taking a dump.”