Olympics To Ban White Guys From 100 Metres Because What’s The Point?
The International Olympic Committee have confirmed that white guys will no longer participate in the 100 metres because there’s just no point. Committee chairman Thomas […]
Month: January 2019
Local Man Who Heard There Might Be Some Snow Buys 200 Loaves Of Bread
A man who saw on the news that there might be some snow in his part of the country has bought 200 loaves of bread […]
“Brexit Will Bring Plague, Famine, a Holocaust, Nuclear War and Armageddon” – Varadkar
Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has said in an interview with European TV channel Bloomberg that brexit could bring about the end of the world and the […]
Many Women Unaware Pouting Makes Their Face Look Exactly Like A Baboon’s Arse
Many young women today are completely oblivious to the fact that not only does pouting not look sexy, it actually makes their face look exactly […]
“Is 97 Too Old To Drive?” Asks Britain’s Media. “Of Course It Fuckin’ Is!” Answers Everyone Else
After last week’s road crash involving the Queen of England’s mad husband Prince Philip, the question of whether 97 is too old to drive has […]
Now That’s What I Call Shit! – Out Now
Finally someone has gathered all the worst songs ever recorded and put them together to make one huge steaming pile of shit. And it’s out […]
Latest Research Claims Food Is Bad For You
Scientists researching what we should eat for a healthy diet are claiming that all food is bad for you. Dr. Philip McIntyre carried out the […]
Woman Drinking Pints ‘Must Be A Lesbian’ Agree Lads in Pub
A group of male friends who went to their local pub last night and witnessed a woman drinking pints are all in agreement that she […]
Jobless Jedward: “We’d Busk But Music Isn’t Really Our Thing.”
Dublin twins John and Edward Grimes – otherwise known as Jedward – have admitted that they haven’t ‘worked’ in almost two years and have no […]
Manchester United Officially Not Shite Anymore
Manchester United are not shite anymore and that’s official. The Red Devils beat title hopefuls Tottenham Hotspur at Wembley yesterday giving manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer […]