2 Metre Rule That Everyone Ignores To Remain In Place

Dublin

Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has said there will be no immediate change to the current two-metre rule for physical distancing that everyone ignores. Mr. Varadkar was speaking to reporters after he held a meeting with the Cabinet this morning where the issue was raised by several Ministers.

“After receiving advice from the Chief Medical Officer I can confirm that the 2 metre rule is to remain in place. I’m aware that it’s impossible to enforce and most people don’t seem to give a shit about it but as long as it looks like I’m doing my job that’s all that matters.”

Shoppers in Dublin city centre this morning were clearly not observing any social distancing rules and many businesses reported huge numbers of people coming through their doors. David Kehoe is manager of Fashions Direct on Henry Street which re-opened today after the lockdown. We asked him if customers in his shop are obeying the 2 metre rule.

“Me bollix! Wall to wall young ones bumping into each other looking for cheap knickers. We put the 2 metre things on the ground but nobody has even noticed them. They think the sanitiser at the door is a sample ‘coz they just spray in on their wrists and smell it.”

The government also confirmed that hair salons will not be allowed to open just yet and that the nation’s hairdressers will have to continue cutting their customers hair in their own houses like they’ve been doing since lockdown began.